also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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