Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I looked at my own cervix.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
