Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
