Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
