so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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