The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
