honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
