I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
