he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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