I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
