So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
