hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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