I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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