You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
