how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
