So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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