he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
