he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
