but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
