My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
