I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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