UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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