____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
