the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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