I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
