check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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