Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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