We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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