I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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