It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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