i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize