it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
