Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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