But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
