Christians are straight up FREAKS
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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