I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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