omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
