I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize