She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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