this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
