There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
