My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
