his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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