dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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