Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
