You can't special order awesome
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
