im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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