One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
