I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
