I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
