did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
