I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
