Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
