WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize