I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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