I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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