your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
