u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
