there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
