And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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