we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
