No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
