Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
