So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize