Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
