And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
