Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
